• Yahel Applbaum

Body and Mind

Mind and Body

It is not a news flash to any of us that the mind, body and soul are connected and will affect and support each other. It is often common to think that if we fix our body we will feel better and vice versa. As much as I wish that was the case we know it is not as simple as that.

If we strive to better ourselves we have to pay attention to all aspects of our being- mind and body, inside and outside.

I would like to start this one with a personal story.

As I have shared in previous posts and social media as well- I have battled eating disorder since I was 17, on and off for many years- the constant thing was trying to change my body, the chase and thrill of being able to control my body, the outside, how I look or wish people see me (fake control, but this is not the main issue today). As I was spiraling down that road, enabling myself more and more fake control over my outside, the inside strings started falling apart.

I was on the run after an un-achievable goal, leaving aside my choice of "how", the transformation didn't change the way I perceived myself/ saw myself- it amazes a lot of people up until these days- I could not see the difference. If you would have shown me a picture of myself before Bulimia (30 kg more) and a recent one, about a year in to the disorder (30 kg down)- I couldn't see the difference, and believe me when I say- there was a HUGE difference. My mind, my inside, was not connected to the outside and vice versa.

Later on, after figuring out I can't continue on that way, I started working out- thinking that would be a healthy fix. Guess what? It was not. I tried every diet and workout on the planet (or at least the ones I had available to me at the time)- nothing changed, I fell back into the cold hands of Bulimia and to the same negative mindset.

In order to make a change, a real one, I had to look at the bigger picture and then zoom in- inside out and outside in. I had to figure out the connection between my needs, wants and feelings to my behavior, actions and coping mechanisms. I had to find out what looks good, is not always what feels good and vice versa. I had to find out what works for ME.

Once I did, the strings that were once broken had new ties- the inside and the outside connected. The body and the mind.

Yes, I still struggle sometimes, and if you show me a picture of myself on an off day I will probably make a snarky comment about myself, but this is an old habit of insecurity, and insecurity can be a cozy bed to fall in to- but I am stronger and more aware of that- the strings I got holding me together now are not as thin and breakable. I have roped and dallied them to my saddle horn and I am ready for everything- or at least most of it.

And now, let's talk practical NLP- mind and body are connected; you can't work on one without affecting the other.

I have translated it from Hebrew; the energy flows where your mind's focus is. I feel like this is the best way to summarize this presupposition. Sometimes, without even noticing our mind and thoughts will affect our actions- for example, thinking "I am fat" will lead me to see myself that way and feel heavy/ fat. Another great one is "I am going to fall" when you climb up a colt- repeating that in our minds will cause us to focus our energy on falling, and well- we are likely to end up in the dirt.

Another aspect of the body and mind relationship is the way we communicate- our words mean less or can have different meaning if our body language is not consistent with the message we are trying to pass on.

We have all been there, asking our partner "are you okay? / is everything fine?" and having them answer us in a way that made us hold on to our chair and get ready for the wildest 8 second ride of our life- and we have all done that too. It is not the way they answer back "yeah. Just fine"- it is the body and the energy that was reflected from the inside, the mind, out.

We can tell how someone feels, thinks and in what state of mind they, just by noticing the body. We can state if they are visualizing something, trying to listen or are they focused on a feeling we can detect all of that, it is called communication from the inside out.

We are going to learn all about it on our next post- and dive in to the world of Rapport.

To sum it all up I'd like offer an exercise for all of you to try, as you go about your week try and right down those moments during which you were aware of the disconnection between your body and mind- can be a moment of awareness in a conversation, or while working with your horse or maybe even looking in the mirror thinking "I'm going to start a new diet- the will fix it all". I welcome you to share that with me if you'd like or just commend yourself for being aware, and taking a step towards being a better more whole YOU.


Photo by: Jen Zeller @thesdcowgirl

For @wildwestragco Wild Rag boutique