Valentine's Day was always a celebration of what seemed like a good happy relationship, or a memorial of loneliness and less happy memories.
Well, I sat down yesterday, trying to figure out how to describe you all what was I feeling at the moment. But I had to let it go, and walk out of the house.
This day barriers some unpleasant (to say the least) memories, and that drove to an emotion storm- from staring anxiously in the computer screen, to crying in my car to needing a friend to cheer me up and ended up goofing around making a video.
I have been in many relationships, with a different type of guys, and some were amazing; taught me love, acceptance, respect and honesty. Others, well, they have hurt me, and I'm no saint, I have hurt some too, usually the ones who did not deserve it.
Sometimes we let ourselves sink in to the feeling that we are unworthy of love, we let previous experiences and relationship affect the one we are trying to build. Oh, I have done that, and lost. Sometimes, we need someone to grab us and shake that feeling out, literally, but most of the time, the relationship that can be the most destructive as well as the most inspiring- is the one we have with ourselves.
I have loved, I know that, and lost- because I let any person that ever used, hurt, disrespected me join me on this relationship. But I have learned from it- first of all, I have learned what it feels like to have someone around you that brings out the best in you, that let you be as goofy or lady like as you want.
Most importantly, is that this year I have learned that this person can be me. I can love and respect myself, push myself to be who and whatever I want to. This year, I'm don't feel alone on valentine's day, because the people I have in my life are amazing, and my 4 legged friends are always there.
Don't let the ones who made feel unworthy dictate the rest of your story, you will find love, and dang! If the one you love right now has 4 legs, that’s awesome!
Just remember, when you love yourself, it will show.
And will make it a hell lot easier to tell the ones who are 'just playin' to keep on searching. And when the a good one comes along- you won't be sitting there telling yourself you are not worth his love. Cause you are.
And remember, not all that glitter is gold. Some people seem happy and put on a perfect couple show- you can never know what's going on when the show ends.